I was introduced to my husband because I was looking for someone to teach me how to surf. When we were courting, we didn’t do much actual surfing because, as I’ve since learned, the conditions have to be just right in order to make it worth paddling out into the water. Instead we spent a lot of time sitting on the beach talking for hours, as we watched the waves roll in.
Now, years later, while I love my husband more than ever, with the nappy changes, temper tantrums and sleep deprivation, life doesn’t seem as romantic as those early days. But we wouldn’t give this up for anything.
When I think about the happily married or partnered couples I know, one thing they seem to have in common is a ritual they’ve developed that fosters conversation in their day-to-day lives. One couple goes out for coffee regularly; another takes their dog for a walk every day; and another always sits down to watch the evening news together so they can talk about what is happening in the world.
For us, it’s often on long car trips that we have the best conversations. The children usually fall asleep, and we don’t have any other distractions but the passing scenery. This year, however, we decided to start a new tradition in our home.
Every day when he gets home from work, I usually ask my husband to take the kids straight away so I can get dinner on the table as soon as possible. The evenings are stressful, and getting our kids to bed early is always a challenge. Once they’re asleep we usually want to go to bed ourselves, so there’s no time to talk then.
So now, were going to try sharing a cup of tea when he gets home from work.
We will be able to catch up on the details of the day much easier then than at the evening meal, which is stressful when the children are tired and hungry. They can have a glass of milk and join our conversation too, so it will be a good thing for them as well.
How do you catch up with the important people in your life?